I made no secret that I hate Daylight Saving. If you like it, today is probably not the best time to tell me. Or tomorrow. Maybe not for two weeks. It would pretty much be a giant mistake even then. There is no saving or spending of light. You just agreed to go to work an hour earlier so you could come home an hour earlier. If you tell me you have “more light in the evening” I am likely to push you into the mud. Because you don’t. You have the same amount. The only difference is that you finished work an hour earlier because you started an hour early. Sell crazy somewhere else, we are full up here.

But for the rest of you not crazy folks, I got something for you. If you managed to get up and start your day, you deserve a little more than a double shot in your Americano. You deserve a Daylight Saving Participation Ribbon. Did you manage to avoid committing acts of violence and treason despite extreme exhaustion? You are killing it, though not really. You know, because you didn’t. Did you manage to leave the house fully dressed? Double high five for not being naked! Did you barely manage to haul your hide out of bed and hobble to the kitchen for coffee? Then today is all about you winning it.

So here is your Daylight Saving Participation Ribbon because you look like a winner to me. Treat yourself good today because you freaking deserve it.