|Selfie from my phone and for some|
reason I look all shiny. Whaaa?
Because when you're behind on the housework and writing and the toddler is going through a rough (read: Uber clingy) patch, why not spend crazy amounts of time trying to dye your grays with food? I'm mean, I know you'll only get farther behind which will wreck havoc on your sense of well being but, hey. Why not? Lot of reasons. Lemme fill you in.
I was feeling a little stretched thin, not actually thin but, you know. Stretched, anyways. I have very dark hair. In the sun it looks more brown and I mentally picture it as brown but people almost always call it black. Whatevs. Anywho, so I am getting the odd gray here and there and contrast being what it is, it kinda looks like I have creepy 60s Christmas tree tinsel growing out of my head. Ben it completely opposed to the idea of dye and when I have been tempted put the kibosh on it right away. But, I was still tempted. When I friend mentioned she had been considering dyeing her hair with coffee or tea but was leary, I jumped. Because food is not dye, right? So I am not dyeing or anything, I am just drinking caffeinated beverages in an extraordinarily messy way. So I made sure that my condition was silicon free and mixed together half a cup of it with 1/4 of instant coffee and 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (to make the dye set). I watched like eighty videos on YouTube hosted by teenaged girls will varying quantities of tattoos and piercings and felt confident that I was in good hands. Because teenaged girls know everything, y'all. Keep up and watch that step there.
I smeared a runny goo that can only be described as looking like a bad intestinal virus through my hair. I tried to comb it through but then realized it was pushing it out so I just smeared. This was insanely messy. It was all over the place and dripping down on my shoulders and just wrong in like eighty ways of wrongness. I had the presence of mind to do it the shower which means then I had to clean the shower and wash the curtain. It looked like Mr Coffee had been murdered in the tub. At least it was contained. I wrapped my head in plastic, then a shower cap, then a towel and put on black clothes. I smelled like a cheap diner, the acid and the coffee made it smell like back alley in a big city in August. But since beauty ain't cheap, I pressed on while it dripped down my back. In the two hours I sat like that, I had to change my towel once because it looked like I was melting.
I rinsed it out and kept rinsing until the water ran clear, added more AVC and then rinse. Not wanting to wait, I blow dried. Oh my heck. Coffee and vinegar and heat are a super, super, super bad combo. At that point I was seriously concerned about my hair smelling and since I can't escape my own head, this was reasonable. Turns out everyone could smell me for like five feet. I had a halo of crappy coffee smell. Not good. What is more is that my hair was bad frizzy and kinda lighter, not darker at all. The teens thought I had an ombre thing happening. I could still see all the grays but only now they smelled bad. In fact, I smelled so bad that at some point in the night Ben put a pillow over my head because he said that my hair was frizzy and creeping into his nose and it smelled like old coffee.
The next day I scrubbed with shampoo and conditioner and let it air dry. The kids said I almost didn't stink anymore. They were almost right. But the good news is that is looks exactly the same now. Maybe the reddish was temporary?
|Snow hides grays.|
Oh, and it is a good thing I live in a snowy place because now, you can't even see the grays. Until I come inside. But then you are so glad to be warm again you wouldn't even notice!