I have been so bad this summer about getting here. I am on Instagram and over at the FB page but not here so much. I am crafting all these ideas in my head and then at the end of the day, I am just out of words. I have a book under contract and it will be out in the early in spring and I am working madly. It is a pretty cool project and as I get closer, I will a have more information about it. It is a real book from a real publisher and it is an insane amount of work but it is all good. So. I put a day of testing recipes and then putting more than two thousand words into my manuscript and then when I think about my languishing blog, I want to just sleep. Or if I can't sleep, stare into space and not form words with my brain. That works.
But, I also need some downtime and some of my more popular posts have been those brain dump posts where I subject you to all the noise in my brain. So for this month there will be more of those. After that, I will back to only editing and minimal writing. My kids will be so grateful. Dinner guests will be so grateful. The other day the six year old was crying for dinner. I had seven, SEVEN bowls out on the counter and I wanted everyone to taste every single one, take a sip of water, and then tell me what the thought BEFORE trying the next bowl. She just wanted to eat. I just wanted her to eat. We were not even connecting. Then our dinner guest arrived a few minutes early and I was on him like white on rice. More tasting. Yes. I make people not eat so that they can eat. Everyone wants me to be done with this book. Yet, I still hear little choruses of, "I am hungry," all day long.
Seriously, kiddo. Go eat something out of one of those forty seven labeled bowls in the fridge. I bet one of them will be good on crackers and if not, tell me about it. In my book, I will make sure to suggest not putting it on a cracker. Do you think that they eat it? NO. They want spoonfuls of peanut butter and a movie. Dear God, please, eat the peanut butter. I am almost at my word count for the day. Give me ten more minutes. And then get me a beer. Actually, just get the beer now.
As for all the news, the calf died and my kids struggled with it. Such a bitter lesson. The neighbors have several calves and they are hosting the 4H group for archery practice. It will give the kids a chance to go see the calves and get their fill of them. They are nursing on their mothers so there will be no bottle feeding but they can see them and pet them. Putting them back in touch with life is very important. Death is real and hiding from it does not make it go away. The death of a calf that they were all so invested in will ultimately be a small death. It is the death of people that I want them to be prepared for, to be strong enough to handle. People die, both young and old. Our ability to cope with such things is tested over and over again and coming out on top is a critical skill. I want them to learn this lesson as gently as possible and this calf's short life was a beginning. There is death but there is also life on the farm and each teaches about the other.
The fair is coming and the kids are putting together all their projects. So. Many. Projects. This is because I have so many kids but still. Fair is a big deal and if we gonna show up, we gonna show out. Usually. I am so struggling because my manuscript is due at the end of the month and the fair is in the target zone. I am going to be a mad woman but since people usually stay out of the way when a mad woman crosses their path, this really might be for the best. I can do this. *deep breathing*
I am stretched pretty thin but it is not without consolations. Sunrise on the farm is gorgeous and I am up anyway. Cows and children both won't wait, I have to be up. The other day there was a thick fog outside and the sun was coming up through the trees on the edge of the east fields. It was so beautiful and I was right there for it. If nothing else there is sunrise. I can take my coffee on the porch and look at the sunset. Sunrises are never hungry. Sunrises never need word counts. Sunrises are breathtaking for the sake of being so. I think I am going to keep looking at the sunrise and not worrying about getting it all done. Each day is not just a to do list, each day is a sunrise and coffee on the porch by myself. That is enough for now.