I am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!

Well, like the song goes, only I'm not dead, just feels like I was resurrected from the dead. Everyone is well. Nobody is whining, puking, or crying in my lap. I can breathe the fresh air! But don't take this to think that I am a weak as water woman who is unhappy with her lot in life. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my God. Life IS good. It was just a little hard for this week. It makes me value even more my family and our health. But so many woman out there believe having children isn't a worthwhile endeavor. Not many women would want to be where I am and doing what I do. Check out THIS article regarding the dramatic increase in "Child Free" women. A very intelligent woman, my friend Anna, made a fascinating point:

"The word choices are interesting: where women used to be described as " childless" implying an unfortunate lack, now they are "child-free". In the same way people are described as "cancer-free"."


Sophia and Veronica Wishing Me Good Morning



But children really are a blessing. I mean that. I am a better person for being a mother. I am far less selfish or self absorbed and far more caring and compassionate. My children call me away from naval gazing and draw me away from my own to gaze at theirs. It only requires three things to be a mother: 1) no fear of hard work, 2) patience and 3) a lack of selfishness. I started out with none of the above, but fortunately, children come with on-the-job training.

People who respond negatively usually only have a few things they are thinking 1) they fear hard work (which here means: waking up at three in the morning to change a wet bed) and/or 2) they fear developing patience (read: afraid of the horrors they'll have to cope with in order to think lightly of things like living through the terrible two's multiple times) and/or 3) have some selfishness they are loathe to give up. It is usually number three. I hear about how, "If I had so many kids, I couldn't have the job/house/time/boat/TV/clothes/flat abs I want and that is important to me. I have one thing to say to them: Sissy! Get over it already. Here's how to (happily) be a mother:

Real Food Improves Your Health:

We eat pretty well. I started out life with a mom who had her own food concerns (we went gluten free for kicks) she taught me well. So I had a head start. I appreciated food that looked like food. Groceries shouldn't look like a pile of boxes. Goats eat boxes. When we put away groceries it should look like we bought food!

But I had cousins raised on the typical American diet. In his mid-thirties, "J" and his wife started reading labels, making better shopping choices, and cooking at home. His doctor scared him straight. We come to a point in life when we "get too old for the rock and roll lifestyle" as a friend puts it. We need to eat right and care for our bodies because, not having youth on our side, weakness chips away at us. They dropped weight, had more energy, their blood pressure improved and they stopped getting sick as often. It was dramatic. It's easy to forget what a difference real food makes. While my family doesn't see dramatic change every meal, every meal makes a real difference in our health. Not being sick, tired, or weak in the body translates to health, vitality and improved mood. We can enjoy life!

Exercise, No Matter How Little, Improves Health:

We had an elderly friend, "W", now 90 years old, who started walking. He was in his eighties, had osteoporosis, emphysemia, was on oxygen and was weak, depressed and in poor health. His great doctor told him he didn't need more drugs he needed to walk. He asked "W" to walk to and from his mail kiosk twice a day. Then he started going three. Eventually he started walking around his building, then the block, then on a treadmill. He built up to two miles a day in less than a year. It was shocking, literally. He got of oxygen, he started enjoying life, he was active and making friends.

It is easy to think you don't have time for exercise. Maybe you aren't a starlet with a cook, chauffeur, cleaning lady and nanny. But even making a point to go up and down the stairs a few times a day will help. Race the kids to the car. Hang up your laundry. Really. This is serious work, let me tell you. Dragging a bucket full of soaking wet, but clean, diapers across my yard gives me great arms.

Getting Your House in Order Will Improve Your Mental Health:

Start by making your bed, everyday. Move onto keeping your dishes done, then counters clear. Then fold EVERY load AND put it away immediately. Then stop stepping over things, but picking them up and putting them away. Look at your bed and feel good about the fact it is made. Do it for you. Who cares if no one else appreciates it? Do it for YOU! Some is ALWAYS better than none. Every little bit helps. If you need more encouragement, check out Fly Lady. The woman is fabulous. Really. Stop apologizing about your kitchen and start flying, baby!

When you can't find a clean cup to drink out of, where there is no place on the counter clear enough to chop vegetables, when no one has clean clothes OR all the clothes are in a jumble of laundry baskets or on the sofa no one is happy, least of all mama. In this environment everyone is tense and irritable. It is not backwards to suggest that a tidy (not perfect) home is soothing and it is certainly not backwards to suggest that you take pride in your home. If good meals and tidy rooms were not an objective good and desired deep in the heart of all women, Martha Stewart would be out of a job. When you walk into a clean room, you feel calmer. When you clean out a closet or drawer it's tempting just to go stand and stare at the order. "Check out the linen closet everybody, this is great!" While no one will notice that it is clean, but they WILL notice the disorder. Decide that it is enough to make yourself happy that it is done and stop playing the martyr already. No body cares that you whine. But the very first time someone says, "Wow, how do you do it?" it will be worth it.  I promise.