I Eat Vegans for Breakfast...



Lemme look at that argument!

 ...and lunch, and dinner. Vegetarians, too. They are delicious. Take a look in my freezer; from bacon to ground beef to whole chickens, the gang's all here. In the fridge are the delicious products of vegan or vegetarian labor: butter, cream, milk and eggs. I suppose the chickens are kinda omnivores as they really like bugs as much as vegetable peels. But still. I'm not alone in my love of animal foods. As newlyweds, we had a neighbor who hunted. One of the bumper stickers on his truck read, "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?" While vegans and vegetarians have a point to make about the often inhumane treatment of animals, eating animals foods in general (particularly when ethically treated) raises no concerns. Often the arguments they raise are as thin as the water I cook my vegan bones in. How do I answer vegan and vegetarian arguments?

*There is no ethical meat.

What? There are farmers everywhere who care about, respect and properly tend their animals. What an insult to them! Maybe you don't know anyone who produces ethical meat, or buys it, but if you don't you should look for it before you make grand sweeping claims. The Farm to Consumer Legal Defense Fund is working hard to increase access to ethical animal foods for all people. If you are truly worried about animal welfare, ethical animal foods and support access, then check them out and support them.

*Animals never start wars.

Hmmm. Okay, so how is this an argument against eating them? Plants never start wars. People haven't argued with me about eating broccoli and I have never seen a broccoli rebel force. Furthermore, animals DO start wars. They are often times territorial, violent and brutal in defense of mates and resources. Have you ever seen a dog growl and snap at another dog who approaches his bowl? Have you ever heard of competing lion prides? This is ridiculous.

*When you start eating vegetarian/vegan you become kinder; there would be no wars if we were all vegan.

Okay, whether or not it is a viable argument that Hitler was himself a vegetarian or if it was PR hooey, this is a ridiculous assertion. There are many criminals and violent offenders in this world who do and who don't eat meat. Besides, the inverse isn't true either. I eat animal foods and it hasn't made me a thug. Not eating meat is not necessarily associated with pacifism anymore than eating meat is with aggression, animals aside. The truth is, that if we stop fighting then there would be no war. Soy hot dogs have nothing to do with it. Speaking of soy...

*A vegan/vegetarian diet is more natural.

Than what? The scores of veggie folks scarfing down fake meat substitutes, fake milk substitutes, and fake cheese substitutes so they can pretend to eat like omnivores while not actually being omnivores demonstrate the lack of honesty here. Even if only some veggies are more natural foods eating, still the bulk of vegetarians survive on highly manipulated processed foods that are largely soy based and DO NOT get me started on soy! Anyway their diets are just as processed as the standard American diet, not largely more natural. A natural diet seems to be one that can be consumed in the absence of texturized vegetable protein factories, and veganism is not consistent with this. Vegan butter substitute (margarine) is, honestly speaking, not natural while butter is.

*You can meet all you nutritional needs on a vegan diet.

Sure you can, as long you consume supplements and fortified foods, too. Supplements like B12, which because in nature is only available in animal foods, must be produced in a laboratory. Oh, and probably calcium, too, since you're not drinking milk. Hmmm, since you can't meet all your needs through diet alone, maybe the diet isn't sufficient. If the diet isn't sufficient, why are you promoting it? In times and places where the artificially produced supplements and factory fortification of fake foods stuffs aren't available then this diet would lead to illness and ultimately death. A diet that could lead to death seems like a bad diet. A really bad diet. If you are concerned about animal welfare, again get in touch with the Weston A. Price Foundation and the Farm to Consumer Legal Defense Fund.

* Woody Harrelson/Alicia Silverstone/other super-special celeb is vegan and recommends it.

Wow. Charlie Sheen has a bridge to nowhere to sell you. Celebrity means nothing. Actually it means less than nothing. Celebrities are known to abuse their bodies, abuse the public, abuse their position and while not all celebrities are flawed celebrity is not a guarantee of good judgment. Frankly anyone espousing this position should be drug out into the street and publicly mocked. Look at a celebrity's arguments and judge them on those not on whether or not you see them on the covers of magazines and how often.

By the way, I am pretty we'll versed in my arguments, though I do try to be nice. Both my husband and I have vegetarian sisters (Hey, girls!).Do you have a great counter-argument for the aggressive vegan or vegetarian proselytizer? I'm always looking for more!

Linking up to Fight Back Friday!